Had To Get Rid Of Mom To Save My Marriage Today

My partner and I are soul mates. We loved each other from the minute we first met at a high-school dance. We both went home that night (little did we know) and informed our parents that tonight we actually met the particular person we were going to get married to. Directly after we got married, we moved with my parents in order to look for work and start our new lives. It was exciting, but we didn't have a place of our own to live right away.

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My father talked us into living together with them for a while till we were money-wise sound enough to buy our own place. Little did we know, 1 month after moving into the new house with them, my father would leave my mother, leaving us to care for my legally blind mother and my younger brother. We took over for paying money for the bills and keeping things going in the proper direction, along with utilizing my mother's disability checks.

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Technically, the house was still my mothers, as it was in her name, and most of the possessions in it were hers except for what we had in our bedroom. We lived by her rules of the house still, just as I consistently did growing up as a young child. Call when you are on the way home, tell me your plans, when are you coming and going, disclose your financials..... Really still a kid in a mother's house.

We paid our share of the house payment, bills, food, etc and for quite a while it was working. We had our bickering and such, nonetheless mainly everything went along smoothly. We were really just frustrated we still had all our possessions in one bedroom, were still living by my mother's rules of the household, and still hadn't moved forward with a life of our own.

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At the 10 year marker it became clear that we were definitely slipping away from each other. My husband and I were fighting with each other more, which lead to more fighting with my mother, and frequently the question came up whether I loved him even more than my family. In the course of one particular disagreement, he told me that I would have to make a choice: my mother or him. Needless to say, later in conversation, my mother gave me the same ultimatum.

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I searched my heart and did a save my marriage today review. Though I would continually love my mom and always wished to be close to her, it was becoming more and more clear that we could not share a house living the way we did. I had to tell her that we could not live together any more to save my marriage. At that point, my parents had been dating once again for quite some time and they had decided to get remarried, so it wasn't like she didn't have anyplace to go.

I simply told her that my spouse is my future and the rest of my life. Although she will always be my mother and an important part of my life, I want to move ahead with my life with my husband by my side. To do this, we really need our own space, build our own life, and get it done on our own.

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I still adored her and I didn't want to destroy our relationship by consistently fighting. Understanding this was the first step towards years of happiness to come. We went our separate ways with our living arrangements, yet we became closer as a family since we were living separately. My partner and I became so much closer than ever and discovered our initial love growing with our brand new life together. At the end of the day, we had to get rid of my mom to save my marriage today.

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